A Practical Tool for Processing Emotions
If possible, write out your answers, it’s proven to be more effective in processing than mental practice alone.
First:
Separate yourself. Breathe deeply and slowly 5-10x. Feel the emotion.
Then:
Say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel this.” “It’s an experience that will pass.”
Questions for discovery:
I feel ____________ because _____________.
Is there a deeper emotion?
i.e. rejection, victimization, hopelessness, fear, shame, inadequacy, guilt, frustration, urge, grief …
What are my ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) in this situation? Write each in a full sentence.
To each ANT, ask: “Is this 100% true?” and “What is the truth (or possible truth)?”
Is this triggering a memory? Write it out.
How can I look at this memory differently (reframe)?
Is this triggering an unresolved, more recent issue?
How can I work to resolve or release it right now, or very soon?
Do I need to take responsibility for something I said or did?
Do I want to sit, relax and think, or do I want to release endorphins by moving, or relax in a different way? i.e. walk, bike, dance, exercise, jump, yard work, music, meditation, funny movie …
What do I want, and what will I choose to do about this situation? i.e. leave the situation, leave the relationship, make a plan to confront, get advice/counsel, let it go (really) …
Finally:
Say to yourself, “I AM EMPOWERED TO CHOOSE, I am not a victim.”
CELEBRATE that you are aware of these feelings/thoughts!!!